Monday, May 5, 2014

Short story

Hi all,

Sorry for the late post! Here is my creative short story. I think you all going be giggling and laughing on this one. I created this story all myself about a bank security guard arrested for stealing his own bank where he worked for.

The first line I twisted the line from the movie "Airplane!" . In the movie "Airplane!" the stewardess asked the doctor "what is a hospital?" and the doctor said "It a building where many sick people stay there but that is not important right now"


Louisville, Kentucky– At the First Bank located at downtown Louisville which is a building packed with full of crumbled dollar bills and rustled coins but that not important right now. People goes there to get their hard working money and then spend all of their money at the in-house liquor shop in the bank itself. The bank want to boost business and got a liquor license so they opened one.  Police are often called to escort out drunk people in the bank and there is a security guard to oversee the operations and make sure the money are safe. Also making sure that everything is going smoothly at the bank.

Christopher Savings, 41 was a  security guard at the First Bank for 12 years. He decided that after witnessing people getting their money, some passing out on the floor from the liquor, and some crying children whom get bored while their parents are discussing the college fund for them. He planned a robbery heist and the next day he came with a ski mask that he stole from the sporting goods store next door. He went to the restroom in the bank and struggled with the mask screaming “STUPID MASK! I NEED TO ROB A BANK RIGHT NOW!”  and a old lady whom was waiting to use the restroom overheard everything that he was saying. When he opened the door with the mask on the lady whom heard the antics didn’t bother to lift a finger and said “Happy robbing moron” and went to use the restroom.  He had a small water gun loaded with water and went to the main floor.

He started to yell out “THIS IS A ROBBERY! DON’T MOVE! THIS IS NOT A THEATER CLASS! GIVE ME YOUR….. DAMN! WHAT IS THE WORD I’M LOOKING FOR? OH THE M WORD! GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MILK! NO! THAT IS WRONG! MONEY! YES! GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY RIGHT NOW!’. He stormed at the teller booth and yelled at teller Caroline Debt, 55 whom was struggling with the silent alarm which informs the police that there is a robbery in process. Debt noticed the security guard uniform that Savings was wearing. She burst in laughter and other tellers came started to crowd at her. All of the tellers were laughing  and watching Savings rant about trying to steal money. When the police arrived at the scene they easily arrested Savings for robbery.

Savings got a huge amazing world record breaking jackpot of zero dollars and zero cents= $0.00 during his robbery heist. The bank spokesperson Robert Tax whom had criminal records for 20 successful robberies wrote a statement  on a torn piece of Bill of Rights that he stole from the National Archives in Washington D.C. The statement said “First Bank is upset to find out that our dedicated employee had decided to steal money. First Bank will not hire Savings at all. We will hire someone else whom can commit their job not robbing money! First Bank will continue operating at the normal level and we are planning to add a sit down café in the bank. The café will have pastries, coffee, and rewards when you spend something in the café.”  Savings is in jail for 5 years and he didn’t return for comment.

 

4 comments:

  1. Your short-story was funny. He's the worst bank robber ever. It had a nice flow to it. You need to fix your grammer errors. Your story was entertaining and would make a good short comedy film. I was a little confused when he was about to rob the bank because the story rushed into the climax so fast. Overall, I didn't find anything else wrong with your short-story.

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  2. I agree with Rohine, it was a little rushed. I think you should take some time and fix the grammatical errors andh fragmented sentences and just expand on some of the story. Why did he want to rob the bank? What day did he do it, what did that day look like? Use colorful adjectives, be descriptive. (E.H)

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  3. Thank you all! I will fix it. But good thing that the story is funny

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  4. really you did a good job. your short story was funny and amazing. I enjoyed reading it but next time don't make a summary for your short story in your first paragraph. good luck

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